A heart made from ashes. (Image by edelen99/Pixabay/Creative Commons)
(RNS) — This year really puts the “’til death do us part” in the holiday of love.
When Ash Wednesday — the first day of the Christian season of penance — falls on Valentine’s Day (or is it the other way around?), it’s a curious marriage of holidays most sorrowful and saccharine. As priests draw a cross in ash on foreheads with the words “Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return,” the observant are faced with the ephemerality of life — and love.
As if Valentine devotees needed any reminding: Those roses will be dead in a week. The balloons? Deflated before then. And chocolate is but a moment on the lips before it turns to, well, you know.
Fun fact: The next time the two holidays will meet is 2029, but it’s not as common as that might lead you to believe. It won’t happen again this century. So, take advantage while you can to ponder the lessons of both. A few suggestions to help you give each holiday its due:
1. Send a card that does double duty.
A message from the Indiana United Methodist Conference. (Courtesy image)
The Indiana United Methodist Conference shared a candy heart on its Facebook page reminding followers not only that “U R dust,” but that you can’t spell “Valentine” without “Lent.” On Etsy, cardsmiths are sharing sweet nothings such as “There’s no fasting from your love” and “On Valentine’s Day, three little words mean so much to hear… LENT IS COMING.”
2. Fast from fighting.
Forget giving up sweets or alcohol for Lent: Instead, forswear one of the many things you do that really annoy your partner.
3. Embrace “Valoween.”
Technically, Valoween is a mashup of Valentine’s Day and Halloween celebrated by spooky season enthusiasts, but Ash Valensday shares the same “memento mori” vibes: Think sweet skulls in a heart-shaped box, shimmery ash-black candles sprinkled with flower petals and sentiments like “I love you to death.” Even Target got into the Valoween spirit this year, sharing love letters to its popular Halloween animatronic, Lewis, on Instagram.
4. Stroll hand in hand through a cemetery.
If Ash Wednesday is all about facing our mortality, go ahead and take your soulmate to the cemetery. Look for double headstones and imagine together their love stories.
5. Planning a candlelight dinner? Make it vegetarian.
Giving up meat for Lent is a long-standing tradition — whether it’s for one meal a day, one day a week, or every day but Sunday. It’s a way to live in solidarity with the poor and is better for the environment. If you’re not already a vegetarian, challenge yourself with a meatless recipe for your special date.
6. Remember that you are loved.
The last time the two days coincided, in 2018, the Rev. Peter Antoci, pastor of St. Thomas’ Episcopal Church in Upper Marlboro, Maryland, leaned into the discomfort. Instead of reminding parishioners they were dust when he marked their foreheads with ash, he told Religion News Service at the time, he said instead, “Remember that you are beloved, and to love you shall return.”
(Photo by Ahna Ziegler/Unsplash/Creative Commons)
7. Mark foreheads with heart-shaped ashes instead of the usual cross — or not.
Many liturgical traditions mark the start of Lent literally by marking worshippers’ foreheads with ashes as a sign of repentance. The suggestion to mark those ashes in the shape of a heart surfaced the last time Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day coincided, six years ago. Not everybody was sweet on the idea. As one pastor pointed out, “Drawing a cross is hard enough.” Memes abound lovingly making light of clergy’s artistic abilities when it comes to the imposition of ashes on Ash Wednesday.
8. Donate your date night.
Giving alms to the poor is an important part of Lenten penitence. Look back on how much you spent last year for Valentine’s Day — on gifts, fancy food, flowers, ice skating in the park — and choose a charity to donate that amount to this year. Or maybe give it to a young couple you know could use a date night but can’t afford it. (Even better, offer to babysit if they have little kids!)
9. Phone a widow(er).
Valentine’s Day is a tough one for those who have loved and lost. Reach out to someone you know whose spouse has died. Offer them comfort and also ask questions about their late partner. Prompt them for stories about how they met, milestone birthdays or anniversaries, favorite vacations. What do they miss the most? What are they most grateful to have shared together?
10. Celebrate Valentine’s Day on Fat Tuesday instead.
Some Christians may find humor or significance in marking the two occasions together. For Catholics, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has confirmed Ash Wednesday fasting takes priority over Valentine’s Day indulgences.
FAQs
Notice how the ashes imposed on us are shaped as cross because Ash Wednesday assures us that we die in the love of Jesus Christ our Savior who leads us into eternal life. Meanwhile, Valentine's reminds us of our undying love for those bonds of love we make throughout our lives as lovers, friends, and admirers.
What is the message of Ash Wednesday on Valentine's day? ›
Notice how the ashes imposed on us are shaped as cross because Ash Wednesday assures us that we die in the love of Jesus Christ our Savior who leads us into eternal life. Meanwhile, Valentine's reminds us of our undying love for those bonds of love we make throughout our lives as lovers, friends, and admirers.
Can Catholics celebrate Valentine's on Ash Wednesday? ›
Valentine's Day can appropriately be celebrated the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday which also happens to be Mardi Gras, a traditionally festive time before beginning our Lenten observance," officials said.
Can you break Lent on Valentine's day? ›
Fasting and avoiding meat could hamper some Valentine's plans, but religious leaders told The Times that parishioners can still celebrate the day without breaking their Lenten obligations.
How do you celebrate on Valentine's day? ›
Every year on 14 February people celebrate this day by sending messages of love and affection to partners, family and friends. Couples send Valentine's Day cards and flowers and spend special time together to honour their love for each other.
Is Valentines day Ash Wednesday the same day? ›
The last time this happened was in 2018, according to several outlets citing Live Wire. Last century, the two holidays fell on the same day in 1923, 1934 and 1945. For this century, it's happening in 2024, then again in 2029 and that will be it.
Can you eat meat on Ash Wednesday if it falls on Valentine's Day? ›
Eating a steak, pork or chicken dinner on Valentine's Day directly conflicts with the traditions of Ash Wednesday, which calls for a meatless meal.
What not to do on Ash Wednesday? ›
Unless you have a medical exemption, Ash Wednesday is a day of Abstinence for Catholics. Avoiding meat can be difficult, but it's a powerful way to get disciplined about your priorities. When you make little sacrifices a part of your everyday spirituality, amazing things happen!
What is the message of Valentine and Lent? ›
Valentine. Love costs us something: our time, our energy, our sacrifice and effort. Lent is meant to cost us small offerings so that we can gain further insight into Jesus' sacrifice.
Why did the Catholic Church stop celebrating Valentines day? ›
Although the Roman Catholic Church continues to recognize St. Valentine as a saint of the church, he was removed from the General Roman Calendar in 1969 because of the lack of reliable information about him. He is the patron saint of lovers, people with epilepsy, and beekeepers.
Catholics are not allowed to eat meat on Ash Wednesday. Most adults are expected to fast and eat only one full meal per day. Two smaller meals can count for this requirement. Acceptable foods to eat on Ash Wednesday include milk, eggs, fish, grains, fruits and vegetables, according to Forklift and Palate.
Can you have chocolate on Ash Wednesday? ›
And yes, you can have chocolate this Ash Wednesday!
Is there a dispensation for Ash Wednesday 2024? ›
As the holy season of Lent quickly approaches, it has been noted that Ash Wednesday falls on Valentine's Day. There will not be a dispensation for Ash Wednesday which is the beginning of the Lenten season - one of the holiest seasons in the Catholic tradition.
What do Lent and Valentine's day have in common? ›
Love is in the air with Valentine's Day nearing, while Christians prepare for Lent, a holy period marked by prayer, fasting and almsgiving. These traditions converge on Feb. 14, marking both Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday, the holy day signaling the start of Lent.
What is forbidden on Lent? ›
Lenten fasting requires strict abstinence from meat. According to the USCCB, you shouldn't eat meat from chickens, cows, sheep, ham, pigs, or birds. It's also common practice to avoid alcohol, sweets and desserts, and fast foods made from chicken and beef.
Can you eat meat on Ash Wednesday if it falls on Valentine's day? ›
Eating a steak, pork or chicken dinner on Valentine's Day directly conflicts with the traditions of Ash Wednesday, which calls for a meatless meal.
How do I celebrate Ash Wednesday? ›
Ash Wednesday is a solemn reminder of human mortality and the need for reconciliation with God and marks the beginning of the penitential Lenten season. It is commonly observed with the distribution of ashes and with fasting.
How do you do the cross on Ash Wednesday? ›
Various manners of placing the ashes on worshippers' heads are in use within the Latin Church, the two most common being to use the ashes to make a cross on the forehead and sprinkle the ashes over the crown of the head.
What are the dos and don'ts for Ash Wednesday? ›
Dos: One is expected to fast and pray, emphasize on repentance and engage on charities to affirm one's faith. Don'ts: Avoid alcohol, smoking or using any drug, eating meat and one can voluntarily refrain from sexual intercourse among others.
